Friday, September 11, 2015

The way home

Wednesday morning. I am going to drop the kids off at Vero's and continue north to CDG. These trips together will take, per Google maps, 1 hour. So I budget about 4.

Even so, I get to the airport a bit after I am supposed to. Luckily for me, my Wow flight (through Iceland, £210) is late.

I hate Paris. But I am on my way home.

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Departing from CDG

Tuesday morning, day of my departure. I arrange for one more night at the hotel for the kids because Alex is so sick--she needs rest, and plenty of it. We don't have a key to Vero's place (kids' next overnight), and Alex would otherwise have to clear out of the hotel by 10am and tote her bags around all day, because Vero has to work.

I take James out on one more attempt to obtain the adapter that the kids need. I also ask him to promise to take one of the backpacks over to Vero's at 6 and get the key, as well as to carry the other backpack over tomorrow, so Alex isn't doing anything too strenuous.

I hug the kids goodbye and get in the car to the airport. It's a 36-minute journey, according to Google maps, and I'm due at 2 for a 3pm flight. I leave the lot at 12:49. I get to the airport at 4:57. Yup, 4:57.

In Paris, roads move slowly. I mean, slooooooowwwwwwwly. I was tootling along happily until 1:12. Then: stoppage. Not just a slowdown, but a stoppage. There are moments of inching forward, then minutes of being stopped. This continues for the next 50 minutes.

I know that the NAV system has the airport pre-programmed, as it has been harassing me for a few exits, noting to me in French that traffic on the A86 is not moving. But the NAV has proved maybe 80% reliable at giving me the fastest way to get someplace. Once 2pm rolls by, however, and I still don't see any planes taking off or landing, I go with the NAV system.

I exit the highway and begin a tense trip on surface roads to the airport, knowing that my arrival will be late. After a whirligig turn at the beginning, the journey is pretty uncomplicated. After much too much time passes, voila, I see planes! Then, a sign: Orly Airport. But...the NAV was taking me to Charles De Gaulle! Wasn't it?!? I verified, and it was...LISTED as CDG. But taking me to Orly. Back, essentially, to where I had started.

Remember, I have no mobile phone, and no cellular data. I park the car at 2:52 and beg phone and wi-fi usage from strangers and shopkeepers, trying to reach my airline, Swiss Air. When I do, it is no help at all. It tells me that I need to call United, because that's who my ticket is booked through. (I have zero flights with United, this entire trip.) Repeated searches of United's website reveal no phone number that can be used in France. So I get back in the car at 3:22, headed to CDG, to talk to a live United clerk, in person, at a check-in counter. Maybe I can get on another flight.

Hence, I get to CDG at 4:57. You know what? All the United staff had gone home already. I finally found a number on the website (using airport wi-fi) that is listed as one for use in France. I call it, and reach a fax machine.

I don't give up. I spend 40 minutes on the phone with the service that booked this package deal for me. They can't reach anyone at United, either! I realize that I'm going to have to book, and pay for, another flight home.

Plus, I had another horrible food experience, a pesto sandwich at the airport that tasted like it was made of sand.

I hate Paris.

I rented a new car overnight and went back to the hotel.

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Damn Paris

We had dinner on night 1, after Versailles, at Chez Clement, a chain. I had inedible lamb, it was so fatty. James did order escargots, which Alex loved. Our hotel, advertised as being "in" Versailles, was in such a sketchy neighborhood of PARIS that we did not dare go far; hence, the chain.

With Paris as home base, we traveled to Chambord to see the Chateau. But Alex was increasingly troubled by an ear infection. Without mobile phones or cellular data, we traipsed from town to town seeking a pharmacy, where in Europe one goes first to consult.

In one town, the pharmacy was closed on Mondays, and the only doctor 'lived' at the church. He must have been conducting a service--no answer to our knock, and sounds of a heavenly choir. When we finally found an open pharmacy, two towns on, the pharmacist's advice was: go to a doctor. He pointed one out, across the street.

That doctor could not see us for like 5 hours. We continued on to urgent care at a hospital in the next town. There, when Alex's temperature was taken, it was 102!

We returned to Paris after picking up loads of meds for illing Alex. We sent out for Indian food, which was...disappointing! Damn Paris.

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The country house

After leaving Le Havre, we visited Vero's country home on the way to Versailles.

We met her husband Geoffrey, 8-year-old daughter Blanche, and 18-year-old daughter Violette, as well as some neighbors who were offering social opportunity to a senior.

The country house was amazing, spectacular; and so was the lunch! It was prepared by Geoffrey, so all my talk to the kids about what an amazing cook Vero is has yet to be substantiated.

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Le Havre est bon!

The ferry to Le Havre was nice: comfortable, with private bath and nice linens. We were on the deck with the bar, info station, and restaurant, each just round the corner.

Le Havre itself was VERY nice--though, architecturally, per Vero's husband Geoffrey, it is all made up of cubes because it was bombed to the ground during WWII. Our hotel, a very tall cube, had whirlpool, sauna, and steam room, so of course we made use. It was right next door to this (where we entered our car park):

The boulangeries (bakeries) were amazing, simply amazing, and so inexpensive! Artful and sinful tarts, pastries, breads, cakes, and layered slices of heaven, not a one more than €3 that I saw, most around €2.20.

Alex quickly developed a baguette habit, and announced that she could survive on nothing but baguettes and butter for the rest of the time she spent in France. (When James & Alex tried the butter over here, they marveled at the flavor.) And don't even get me started about the chocolates!

Our first lunch was at a place top-rated by Trip Advisor, La Voile Bleue (I think). There I had the best shrimp dish, roasted, that I have ever eaten. They were prepared in a pesto-like sauce with extra herbs added, and served with the heads and tails on. James tried salmon mousse (terrine), which he did not love, but kudos for bravery. At our hotel, for dinner, Alex had duck breast, which she pronounced the best she'd ever had. (Pictured, a hotel breakfast, sans croissant, but nice plate!)

The weekend was supposed to bring a festival of the sea, with parade and fireworks, but it rained. However, the day we left, a market appeared downtown--such a market! Handmade pastas and sausages, paella cooking in mammoth pans over fires, vibrant and enticing fruits and flowers and vegetables...I had to buy some grapes that were barely green, tinged with pink. I had never seen nor tasted them before. My, they were good.

Le Havre est bon!

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The Wyndham Arms

A word about Williton's pub, our sole source of connection to the outside world. Called the Wyndham Arms, it did not encourage one to imagine great food or inspired beverage concoctions from the outside. From the inside, it encouraged one to flee. Filthy tables, threadbare carpet, mismatched chairs--a dingy environment, populated by geezers.

We stayed that first night because we needed the 'net. Remember, our cottage was a dead zone. In seating ourselves, we selected a relatively clean table as far from the knot of white-haired men as possible. I brought the Mazzes' passports up to the bar and placed an order for one beer, one white wine, and one Jack Daniels with soda, no ice. As expected, the bartender--who reminded me of Marty Feldman, in appearance and manner--said he would need to see the IDs of the rest of my party.

He apologized for asking. Then he apologized again. I assure him that we expected the inquiry. Yet again, he apologized. "This is why I brought the passports to the bar with me," I say, trying not to sound exasperated. "It's fine."

He scanned Alex's passport and accepted that she was of age. However, when scanning James's, he stopped short.

"Hold on. He's only 12."

"I beg your pardon?" says I, confused at this nonsensical assertion.

"The boy's age," says Marty (the name I have privately given him).

"Aah," says I, "except"--mustering my most firm yet friendly, schoolmarmish tone--"that says 1997, so he's actually 18. Right?" Prompting the slowest of my students.

"Mmm, mmm....yes, 18," says Marty, and he putters off to fetch the drinks.

When I bring them back to the table, Alex's beer is warm and tastes of nothing so much as piss with a powerfully bitter aftertaste. Isn't that what the British always say about American beer?

As we sit, accessing, searching, and blogging, some younger patrons appear from who knows where. They start to shoot pool in the back room, the entrance to which is next to us. They also make unfortunate use of the jukebox.

70s rock. We're talking Foreigner. Alex said, "This sounds a little like Queen, except it's awful." Non-alt 80s pop, a la Whitney Houston. Hair metal. It is LOUD. We look sadly at one another as each tune begins. We find scant relief in the Police and MJ's Thriller.

Concluding our business, we pack up our electronics. Marty hovers nearby, worried and beseeching. "Everything all right? Yer drinks OK?" He stammers and stares and wrings his hands, looking a bit the mad scientist.

On the way to Wales, we agree that any future trip to the Wyndham Arms will require a drinking game. Since we are not fond of pub alcohol, we will order 3 small glasses of something tolerable, Grand Marnier or Chambord or similar. Each time an artist or song that we despise comes on, we will take one sip. We begin to hammer out the list of qualifiers: Bob Seger. "My Heart Will Go On," from Titanic. The Eagles.

The next night, James and I saunter over to the pub around 10pm, just to chat briefly with some people online before bed. Having checked the night before, we know that it's open until 11:30. Except that it isn't. It's dark and sealed up tight. We re-trod the block-and-a-half to the cottage, half perplexed, half annoyed. Why even post your hours, British pubs?

The following night we decide against the pub and watch a movie, but on night 4 we return. As we approach the front door, around 8:30, Marty exits, putting on his jacket. "Oh," I say, "are you closing up?" He says nothing for a moment, then leans in, eyes wide.

"I'm going home," says he, somewhat dreamily, skating on the edges of context.

"Um. Is the pub closed?" I repeat, and Marty gestures toward the door.

"You have to push it," he says, and is gone.

Stifling exclamations along the lines of "What the hell?" we take his advice and find that, while Marty's shift has ended, pub life rolls merrily on. We settle in at the only empty table, which is especially grimy, and begin our online tasks for the night. We forget about the drinking game and have cider, since we discovered a good one in Wales. The pub empties a bit. The jukebox isn't a factor.

Then, suddenly, a few men sidle in, from somewhere at the back. We aren't sure where; our brief exploration on day 1 found only the billiards room and the toilets in the rear. A few more enter from the same mysterious location. Then several more. Then a gaggle. Then what appears to be the entire male population of Williton arrives as though from an invisible clown car. They hang out for a few minutes, sucking up all the air, noisily quarreling and laughing. Then they vanish the way they came.

We start to giggle, fingers frozen above keyboards. James utters a "What the--" while I question the architecture of what appears to be a standard building. We eventually re-engage in online matters, then maybe 20 minutes later the scene unfolds once more: a trickle, then a stream, then a gusher of men erupts from somewhere at the back. It subsides.

We do not ask. It is something to do with how nobody offered any information, when we were clearly quite surprised. Like it was not our business. Like we were not welcome to inquire.

It's a little like a Stephen King novel, this place, the Wyndham Arms.

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Monday, September 7, 2015


You may notice that posts are out of order, and some have no pictures. I am having conniptions with my app! Pictures that are missing will, I hope, be present soon.

The order of events posted to date: Reading, Williton, Wales (Cardiff), Cheddar, Bristol, Padstow, Trebarwith-Tintagel, Portsmouth. Next up, an essay on the pub in Williton, then France!

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Fence creatures

Other(s) that I took of the surround at Cardiff Castle:

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Crab fishing

We saw crab fisher-folk on the pier--where there are no barriers against falling into the harbor. Alex remarked that this was pretty wonderful, and I had to agree. Human development entails risk!

Alex's eagle eye caught a Steif teddy bear store as we drove around trying to find a parking space. We had to stop in.

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Haunted Bristol

We went to Bristol with the intention of having a look at one haunted pub, and at one historic ship. Really, that is all that we did; but we took a good long time doing each. The SS Great Britain is so cool--it's the first-ever passenger liner, and it set the tone for every liner that has followed. Poor James was able to make no headway with a young woman he encountered in the first-class dining room, though.

And the pub was a perfect pub. It was clean with sleek but ancient polished wood and excellent privacy booths across from the bar, where a competent and quick young man served us. Plus it had friendly, dog-loving owners who were open to chatting about their resident spirits. Very satisfying.

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Cheddar yummy goodness

The morning we went to Cheddar, we each had a packaged Jaffa cake to hold us over, intending to eat breakfast out. In Cheddar, we first toured the gorge, pictures of which have appeared here in years past. The mountain creatures thrilled Alex, who wanted to pet them. That met with a NO.

After seeing the gorge, we settled into a breakfast cafe to dine. Oh my goodness. Alex and I ordered breakfast sammies, expecting them to be the size of an English muffin. They were instead huge, nearly the size of a quarter-loaf of bread! And James ordered a mini ham & cheese quiche. Wow, that quiche. If you go, you must try it. True cheddar in the town where it was born. The best I have ever tasted.

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Laundromat in Portsmouth

In Portsmouth, I wanted the kids to see a church near the water that was bombed during WWII. (See 2012 posts here for pics and more info on this church.) However, our arrival was late enough that all we saw, basically, was a laundromat, a restaurant, and the ferry terminal. :(

We saw a laundromat because we did a load of washing at the cottage, which had no dryer, and we really needed a dryer. Thankfully, the dryer that we found was industrial strength and speedy.

Alex chose the restaurant. She wanted Chinese, and I didn't object, since this trip 'belongs' to the kids. But I don't like Chinese food. Lo and behold, the restaurant was Malaysian as well as Chinese, and we got prawn crisps, and I ordered satay and nasi goreng!

However, I couldn't stop thinking about how neither Maz got to try a Cornish pasty or Cornish ice cream. Evidence, IMHO, that they will have to return. But for now, on to France.

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Bye-bye, Bakelite

We left Williton, home of the Bakelite museum(!), in a rush, not because we were late, but because of Jezabel. Jezabel is/was a ginormous spider, in all seriousness at least 2 inches wide. One of us was 'posted' to watch him in shifts, to ensure he didn't get into our stuff, as the other two gathered belongings and checked rooms. Toward the end, spidey made a sudden rush for the door, so we did, too, bolting it and clambering into the car.

I am not typically afraid of spiders. In my classroom at Pathways, I used to tell the kids who found them, "Leave him be, and I'm sure that in return he'll leave you be." But this was a HUGE spider, and James, who isn't afraid at all but kind of fascinated, offered that he wasn't sure but thought that it could be venomous. Nuff said.

About an hour away, I remembered that my jacket was still hanging in the entry closet. My new mobile phone was still in the pocket. Gah. I half-turned back, then decided against, but changed our direction enough that we pointed toward Exeter rather than toward Portsmouth. OK, Exeter is where we'll go to top up my iPad and look into data for the Mazzes. We contacted the cottage and asked for a mailing of the jacket to Vero in France.

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Glorious cliffs of Trebarwith-Tintagel

Aah, Trebarwith Strand. James said it well when he exclaimed, "It even SMELLS so good," referring to the whole scene: ocean, rocky coastline, hillocks and cliffs, families and surfers, wind and spray, sand and slate, beer garden and ice cream parlor.

Alex's words: "I feel like I've been sitting here a really long time, but I'm not getting tired of looking at it"--"it" being the vista, the view. There really is nowhere I have been that is more beautiful.

Alex and James took the cliff walk that Victor and I did three years back (they went only one way; we did it times two!). Like us, they loved it and snapped a number of pictures on the way to Tintagel (see

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North coast, Cornwall

Our third day in the Southwest was reserved for Cornwall because the weather was supposed to be good. (And it was.) First stop: Padstow, for a cream tea. Fresh (still warm) scones, little pots of strawberry jam, mugs of tea, and slivers of native strawberries. Mmm mmm good.

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Sunday, September 6, 2015

End of day, Cardiff

After a search (twice requiring use of a car park whose pay machine was clearly related to a donkey) for one Welch restaurant (which in the end proved to be closed), we ate at a pub. Good mac & cheese, excellent cider; otherwise, meh. And then we passed this off-license on the way back to the car, Gillian!

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Saturday, September 5, 2015

Pelican in Wales

I took pics of the fence ringing the grounds and moat of Cardiff Castle. Victor--one is a pelican!

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Cardiff Castle

We made it to exactly one castle, the one that was in town. It was EXTREMELY hilly, so my knees recommended sitting it out. I sat and enjoyed half a cream tea while Alex & James, freshly hatted (see below), explored Cardiff Castle.

I saved half the scone and jam and cream for them.

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Thursday, September 3, 2015


I had thought that we could gallivant up and down the south coast of Wales, drifting in and out of various castles. In fact, traffic backups on the M5 were terrible. We got to Wales late.

When we arrived in Cardiff, the kids wanted to have an afternoon Doctor Who Experience right off. (Exterminate!)

Not I. I blew 88 quid on socks and undergarments at a fabulous mystery store with a huge car park. Heaven.

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Wednesday, September 2, 2015


We are staying in Williton, in the cute little thatched cottage behind the kids. It is awesome in every way. Except it's in a Dead Zone. Not only no wi-fi, but no cellular service of any description. There are, however, gnomes directly across the street.

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Aunt Pat

How did we miss taking a picture? Our visit with Pat was thoroughly enjoyable, from how light and spontaneous the conversation feels around her, to how delighted Alex and James were to 'discover' this fun 'new' (80-year-old) relative, to the yummy Italian restaurant and the delish cream tea at her home. We were sad to leave, but THATCH awaited.

Pat provided us the use of her land line, thank heavens. With that, I was able to reach my bank, which had inexplicably cut me off! I was able to head west a bit more relaxed.

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Stonehenge on a Sunday

We hit Stonehenge on the way to Pat on Sunday. BOY, has it changed. When I was a kid, you could climb on the stones. When Mike was a kid, you could park a short walk away and circle the stones at a distance--you had to have a good zoom lens for decent images.

Nowadays, you come over a hill and see what appear to be cows on a hillside. In fact, I actually said, "Look, cows." Then, from behind trees, Stonehenge appears in the distance, among the 'cows' (actually, people), looking like a left-behind play setup, it's so far away. I feel sure that the road is now somehow pushed back.

We followed the signs and continued on and on. We turned right. We turned right again. We entered a mammoth car park, where men in uniforms told us, "No fee today"--wait, there's a fee to park?--and parked in a small sea of vehicles. We walked to a low building surrounded by swarms of tourists.

It costs, as it turns out, £55 for a 'family' to go because you must buy a membership in British Heritage. Which is separate from the National Trust, the administrator of a number of other sites on our to-see list. However, BH does administer Tintagel.

We stood there, debating advisability. A female salesperson swooped upon us, sensing her moment. She began her spiel, dazzling us with her accent and her assuredness. We joined.

You have to take a shuttle bus to the stones. A shuttle bus!

The value added is pretty considerable, though. There's a museum now that contains 5000-year-old cremated remains and a 5500-year-old skeleton found at the site. (They did forensic analysis and have tried to re-create his head.) Stonehenge itself is currently estimated to be more than 4200 years old, dating to well before the Druids. In terms of the Easter Island heads and the Roman Colosseum, Stonehenge occurred so long before their times that it was the dust of history for them.

It was cool.

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